our own leaps

there isn’t enough stress in the world to emphasize momentum and its related beneficiaries to our productivity. writing a blog post is a daunting stand-alone; it’s approachable after completing a short-answer assignment for music history. the ease does not exist in academia alone either. sweeping the living room is pesky in solo form; it’s a small source of gratification after a run outside.

if we took to our routines with knowledge of and respect for continuity, the question of accomplishing pending jobs would be less about “can i do this” and more along the lines of “which warmup routine is right for today’s challenge”. when shuffling priorities into a to-do list, i’m used to accepting the inevitable fate of action head on. but why aren’t warmups as necessary mentally as they are physically? avid exercise freaks know their limits well, including the consequences of throwing their bodies straight into intense practice. do brainiacs claim similar familiarity with their cognition?

it could all fall under the umbrella of mental health awareness. we like to picture our minds as an indispensable modem of energy, subservient to the free will of our conscious. reality is quite the contrary. i was quite surprised to read that our subconscious controls over 90% of our behavior. that 10% with us in the pilot’s chair is still only a role of co-captain, as our sneakier streams basically fly the plane while we press buttons. this lack of awe toward underlying mechanisms of our survival might be affecting the attention and breadth needed within mental health to encourage a dynamic stretch of our hemispheres.

it’s the striking contrast between a graceful ease of productivity and a claustrophobic depression that puzzle me. how can, during a morning slump, cleaning the bathroom seem like an entire mountain face of impossible grips? the escalation of everyday routines and weekly responsibilities have little in terms of a backbone when under the influence of my state of mind. without the optimistic, driven worker pile-driving social anxiety and hyper-thought to the side, i can barely drive down the road for groceries, literally and figuratively.

the first plan of attack to counter this ugly force could be a recurring, intentional expenditure donated to the benefit of mental wellbeing. if i’m in better moods, i’ll have longer stretches of much-needed personal performance. slap the hands together and call it a day.

except that skips across the pond of drowned hopes and disassembled dreams. i can’t elongate extensions of happiness into one seamless timeline. breaks and gaps are part of the contract.

this unfortunate inevitability is in fact an invigorating opportunity for warmups to slip in and turn the tide. any type of progressive action, whether that’s continuing a tv binge, drawing without a bigger picture in mind, or calling whoever answers your calls, is the hot-air balloon advertising almost immediate ascension.

the sapped, barren landscapes of disinterest are a still life. in this portrait, i resemble a two dimensional glimpse of momentary exhaustion. sitting there is a comfortable relaxation technique, but a simultaneous decay of self-worth (at least that’s the principle i abide by).

we are meant to move forward with the arc of history, bounding our own leaps along the way. profile photos are not our destiny — they’re screen grabs of an ongoing, ambitious film representing your directorial debut.

its release date, interestingly enough, is also under your discretion.

– D K T



life ends. why pretend

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